Our older generation is a treasure that we’re hiding…
There is something that has happened in our society, in our culture. That thing is the hiding of our precious gems. Somehow, most young people were not raised to value the old. Have we unknowingly created this community value or should I say, “lack of community of value”? Was it caused by proud parents who wanted more for their children and then proceeded to shield them from the not-so-pretty sight of aging and the care required for these wonderful people? Did we raise a country of self-centered fools that fail to see the reason? Some families rise to the call when one of their elder members is in crisis. These families, like mine, are living the gift. There is so much to be gained during the struggles of the last few years of life. I wouldn’t have spent the last 5 months any other way.
But, what about all of the years that are lost before they become gravely ill or reality insists upon our attention. How are we preparing our children to love us when we’re older? If they dont’ spend time around older people, now, can we expect them to want to spend time around US, when the time comes. If they don’t value older people, now, how can we think that they will see the value in US, when we get there?
Schools are a monopoly of our children’s time, forcing to spend most of their moments with people their own age. You’ve seen it, some children aren’t even functionally capable of enjoying the company of children who aren’t exactly the age as THEY are! Relating to someone of a different age takes a sensitive shift in the way we communicate. It’s a very valuable ability and comes in as an imperative skill, once adulthood is reached and when dealing will the real world and higher education.
A student’s life is so fast-paced that even if an elderly person was right in front of them, they may not be sensitive enough to bring the tempo of their attentive listening down, focus their eyes off of their ipod and see the treasure standing before them. One of the wonderful gifts that you get from spending time with an older person is a moment of peace. It’s necessary to STOP. It’s necessary to LISTEN. And if you can do this, your physiology will change. Your heart rate levels off. Your blood pressure goes down and you will LEARN.
As we all age, we take on the realization that we don’t and have NEVER known it all. I remember some of my most wonderful lessons about healthcare and the caring of people’s health came from doctors who were older and wiser. Those lessons came from the slow and humble ramblings of warm, caregiving, elderly doctors whom I spoke with shortly after graduating Chiropractic College, nearly 25 years ago. I remember thinking how open these medical doctors were, how eager to share the fact that they didn’t know it all, how accepting they were of what I did, Chiropractic. Their younger collegues were not so willing to talk to me about what I was doing and instead were head-strong and even sabatosing of my care, when it came to our shared patient success. But, these retired and older doctors were different. I learned a great deal from their humility and their encouragement that I focus on love and on the patient in front of me. I had been TOLD to do this, before. But, hearing it from a frail figure who had once had great success in health care, allowed it to ring all these years in my heart.
I really think that we’re missing the boat. Our elders should live close to us and should spend time with our children. Young people need to be a part of the end of life and old people need to be part of the beginning of it. It was naturally meant that our daily lives include all spectrums of age.
If you don’t have family members who are old and live close by, find some to include in your lives. Your children will be better for it. When I was a child and singing in every corner that I could, my mother took me to every nursing home and even to a mental institution to perform. I truly believe that the exposure to those grateful eyes, though many could not speak, inspired me. Some of them told me to go out and change the world and I was given the impression that I could do just that…for THEM, I would do just that. Mother even took me to our local nursing home and asked if there was anyone that no one came to visit. When I was 12, every two weeks for a while I visited an old man, who embarrassed me with songs about ships tatooed across a lady’s chest and who told me stories of surviving a war and who wept when he told me that I reminded him of his daughter. These are visits that I could never forget. These were visits that I believe prepared me to pay attention to the treasures that walk through my door and need the tenderness of my touch and the warmth of my heart every day. These were visits that have allowed me to cherish each and every moment that my mother has lived with us over the past 10 years. And even now, I cherish the time that I get to spend with Mom and I am still paying close attention. It’s not easy because my life does fly by, it seems. But, I consciously STOP…..I LISTEN and oh what wonderful lessons I LEARN…