I can still hear it, “This could be the death of her”, the ER doctor said in a hushed, but caring voice as we spoke of Mom’s prognosis. She may pull through like she has before, though. Mother is a remarkable and strong woman. Dena Kleinsorge is in the Montrose Memorial Hospital tonight. Her oxygen levels were 80 and below and she was running a fever. She had grown so weak I had to send an ambulance to pick her up from Heidi’s. I shortened my patient schedule and changed New Year’s Eve plans so Niki and I could run down to be with her. She was a little fussy before we got there, they said. But for us she was smiling, comfortable and loving. She understood what was going on and we visited like old times between her naps for the most part. She must have told Niki how beautiful she was and me how much she loved me, at least 10 times during the evening. I’ve learned that she can get through nearly any uncomfortable procedure, if I lock my eyes with hers, smile and firmly say a prayer while they poke and prod.
The CT scan showed a probable pulmonary emboli and they are starting her on blood thinners. We’ll know more after we see how she does the next few days. If she perks up, she’ll be on oxygen and that may be very hard for her to grasp and deal with.
Niki and I left at 6:00 nearly an hour after they said she would be admitted. When we came back after 7:00, she was still waiting for her room and we stayed until 8:30. The snow was flying outside and Craig was home sick with the stomach flu so I felt that we needed to head home. I just called and she is resting well in room 369. I wished the nurse a Happy New Year. Thank God that we have people who will work on their holidays.
Dear God, Please help this night be a peaceful one for my mother. Bring peace to her heart and help the nurses and doctors to make the right decisions when caring for her. Please watch over us and give us strength to accept whatever happens to her. Lay your healing hand on her and bring peace to her body and spirit. Help her to be as healthy as possible and shield her from suffering. Place a knowing in her heart that she is loved and that her life has been a meaningful one. Help her find a direction and know that her presence can make a difference where ever she is, just as she has always taught me. Give me strength to deal with all of this in a loving way and please help me to suffer less over her failing. Amen