This was actually a draft that I thought I published back in March. I just found it and so am now publishing it for you. It was originally written on March 17th, 2011. Thank you for caring about Mom.
Sorry I haven’t written more lately. Here’s what’s been going on with Mom. The good news is that she and I spent the day together running errands in Grand Junction and toasting to “long life and properity” at Carino’s, one of our favorite Italian spots in Junction. She is still cracking jokes and thankful for every moment we spend together and so am I. She was sad to go back to Heidi’s when the day came to an end and used her usual creative mind to try and figure out a way for us to spend the night together. But, in the end she said she knew when she left Heidi’s, this morning that she’d have to go back tonight and it was all right. She’s been a little sad about the death of one of the residents at Heidi’s that she enjoyed spending time with, Ella Mae. Ella Mae’s daughter is also named Mary Elizabeth and Mom was the one who saw her fall in the hallway before she died from some vascular problem. While I’ve been gone the past couple of months, I’ve been back twice to see her and Bill and Ilene have both been back. She talked today, realizing that though she wishes she could see them more often, they’ve come more often since her stroke than they were able to come before it. Her visit with Bill and Emily, last weekend was an especially joyful one and she had a lot to say about it.
We had a good Christmas and New Year’s and have been so blessed to have Mother as a part of it all. Here is a picture of her sitting in the kitchen while the kids and I were making Christmas goodies. She was watching every move that everyone made and we had good memories of her perfectionist urgings in years past when Niki and I made cookies that were hard enough to still hang on the tree every year, even 11 years LATER! **chuckle**
She continues to amaze me with her determination and spirit. I told her today that I was proud of her for living positively while I’ve been away. She said with a smile, “Well, I didn’t have much choice, did I? I just do what they tell me at Heidi’s.” I told her that even doing what she’s told is a choice and THAT choice probably makes her days go more smoothly. We talked about the one reason she may have found for living at Heidi’s last year was her relationship with Ella Mae. She was a good friend to Ella Mae and finding seeing her fall and then alarming the staff to her in the hall was a calling in itself.
She’s had her difficulties, though. Keeping her thoughts and fears under control is an on-going challenge. I can’t stress enough to you to watch for physical reasons for confused thought. As your loved one ages and may not think as clearly as they once did, there are so many common reasons for the loss of reasoning and memory. Because there is such attention on dementia in the media and dementia or Alzheimer’s is something we all face in a fearful way, when older people don’t think clearly it seems the most common thing to do is to just accept these crazy thoughts as being part of their aging process. But, don’t you believe it, at least not at first!
There are many causes of dementia that have little to do with the permanent dementia.
Any head injury, of course, including strokes can cause loss of reason. It takes a great deal of focus and attention to Speech therapy and the eliments of it with or without a therapist to overcome brain damage. But, if there is understanding and reasoning, this kind of therapy can make a world of difference. Mom has come so far in this regard that I can’t really write all of the comparisons, here. Just know that when you were a baby you didn’t know the things you do now and with love and guidance you learned. If there is healthy brain tissue left with good nutrition and blood flow, much of what is lost can be regained.
Urinary tract infections, as we’ve talked about before, are the most common cause I think in older people. But, there are other causes to watch for as well.
ANY kind of infection can come to the surface as confusion or hallucinations. Watch for vaginal and other hidden infections. Too often dehydration and lack of nutrition is common in older people and lead them more easily to an infection. They often have no symptoms of these infections either because of nerve damage or simply the loss of sensation as they age. It important to watch for bathroom habits changing. With Mom, she never has painful urination when she had a UTI. I found it with blood in her urine.
Chronic constipation can cause problems with lead to infections and there is some doctors who think that constipation itself can lead to dementia.
What medications are they taking? Mom recently had a problem with Vesicare, given to her because she had a yeast infection and was getting up a lot thinking she needed to go to the bathroom. Two of the side effects of Vesicare are dementia and lowered blood pressure, both of which will effect your ability to think straight. Here’s a list of the side effects I found on the Internet, given to Mom, first because she wasn’t thinking straight(taking off her clothes in public), had to spend a lot of time in the bathroom and then they finally found the infection and began treating her. See if YOU think this is a smart drug to use without a very close watch concerning the side effect possibilities… Severe allergic reactions (rash; hives; itching; difficulty breathing; tightness in the chest; swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue; unusual hoarseness); back pain; bloody or cloudy urine; constipation lasting 3 or more days; fast, slow, or irregular heartbeat; fever or chills; mood or mental changes (eg, confusion, depression, hallucinations); pain below the ribs; pain while urinating; severe stomach pain; unusual or severe headache; urinary retention (unable to empty the bladder).
SO, be sure you KNOW what to expect from the medications they are taking. I know the reasoning behind using the Vesicare because Mother had some problems with hallucinations when she had acute insomnia. But, keeping a close eye on someone taking this stuff would be reasonable.
Insomnia and depression are two very common causes of psychosis, dementia and hallucinations. So, keep and eye out for these problems. Both are very common for older people even healthy older people. But, if they’ve had a stroke or are having mini-strokes, it’s even more likely to suffer from insomnia and depression. And of course ONE of these can cause the other. Insomnia can lead to depression and depression can lead to insomnia. ~sigh~ How do we keep up with it all? Many doctors throw medications at these problems. But, pills aren’t the only answer and may not be the real answer at all. Watch out for the side effects of so many of the medications that treat depression and insomnia. Many of THEM cause suicidal thoughts and hallucinations themselves. I wish there was a simple answer to the choices that we all face. But, the one thing I keep coming back to is that we all need someone who knows us well and who can watch out for our welfare. If you’re that person for someone you love, be best you can do is pray and then do what you think God has laid on your heart. Keep love and hope at the front of your mind and you have a better chance to get the care that your family deserves. I’ll write more later about dealing with the anger from all of the lack of attention and the crazy mistakes that our health care seems to be plagued with.
Love you and thank you for reading…