Early Friday morning James slipped away with the angels, daughter Adrian by his side. They were listening to music, of course, Morten Lauridsen’s “Lux Aeterna”. About a week ago, his dear friend Endre Balogh visited and played him several movements of Unaccompanied Bach, “Dirait-On”, and “Danny Boy” (which he always “plays to summon the Angels”). They have shared such a special friendship, seeing each other through so many of life’s losses and joys. They’ve also shared years of music. Endre is just one of the people who will miss Jim so deeply.
It must just be hitting me, today. I can’t seem to keep from crying. He was my dear friend and musical mentor. If I had to name ONE person who has been the most influential in my musical life, I’d have to name James Smith. Which is interesting because I’ve been playing for 42 years and I’ve only known James for the past 3. I met him just 6 months after I had begun playing again, following 3 years that I could barely play at all after a fall that injured my arm.
If you’ve read my blog for long, you know about my love for Fernando Sor. James told me that Sor’s music was responsible for his love for classical music, that it was a book of Fernando Sor compositions that first caught his heart on fire for classical guitar. I have to hope that they are studying together, today…and I selfishly hold the idea in my heart that they are listening to me as my tears wash the face of my guitar this afternoon, as I play their pieces from my sorrowful soul.
I don’t think I’ll ever know another person with as big or sincere heart as James’. His wish for his students he wore on his sleeve. Never did his ego ruin the moment or get in the way of a student’s opportunity for growth. Even 2 months ago, already finding himself often exhausted and not quite himself, I spent several hours with him and guitar. He was still able to passionately push me towards good choices in my music and was still full of hugs and sincere encouragement.
As full professor and head of the music department at the University of Southern California, James has touched so many musical hearts. As a teacher, your music lives on. I can’t imagine how many students’ lives he has changed. I never heard his say a harsh word about anyone. His style of teaching was completely positive and loving. He made me feel worthy, at a time in my life that I felt worthless. He gave me courage to express myself when I was timid to do so. He was the first person to push me to transcribe my original pieces and helped a great deal in those transcriptions. He convinced me with his insistence, “These pieces of music deserve to be played long after you are gone.” he said,”They are beautiful and original.” There were passages that I originally heard in my head that were nearly impossible for me to play proficiently on the guitar. He led me to understand that people wouldn’t “love” playing my songs if they were too difficult for them to play beautifully. He helped me re-think these passages. He pushed me to change them into something that was still beautiful, but more easily learned and played.
Good-bye Jim. Now I’ll have to think of you AND Fernando up there listening to my every inspiration. Maybe you can inspire me even from where you are. I will always love you. I will always think of you when I play, especially the songs that you shared with me. I now know why you were so insistent that I copy so many of the songs from your book. I’ll be learning them for years. Thank you for including the fingerings. I’ll imagine YOUR fingers as I place mine on the strings and will do my best to please you from a far.
Your music lives on, my dear friend…
so sorry to hear the loss of someone that means so much to you. Happy for the great thoughts that you have of him and to carry on with your dreams. hugs, Kim