Down to my toes, I know it was meant that we personally take care of our family…when they are young and can’t take care of themselves and when they are old and can’t take care of themselves. But, now I have to see if I am a strong enough person to put into action what I feel to be the right thing to do.
Mother is doing better today than over the weekend. We’re trying to decide how much time is good for her to stay at home, now. Pray for my wisdom. Mother has been fairly happy at Heidi’s and in some respects, especially when she was in such crisis last year, it was good to have her in a safe place that allowed me to rest. But recently she’s become less satisfied at Heidi’s and we miss her. Her year’s lease will be up in December and the decision will need to come about her continued residence at Heidi’s. She had such a problem on Saturday and it was such a relief to pick her up, figure out what the problem was and then deal with it. It was less stressful dealing with the problem face to face than it was trying to talk to them on the phone and deal with it that way.
There’s so much to consider. If we try this and fail, it may create more discontentment for Mother and that is truly NOT something that I’m aiming for. The girls are excited that Grandma may be coming home. Craig even seems up for it and has the “granny-cam” up and running. I’m happy to consider her coming home, but reserved in my jubilation, at resent. She did great at home the past two days except for one time last night just before midnight when she was up raiding her refrigerator and confused about the time. After I got her back to bed, I couldn’t sleep and then was up until 3:00 fussing and praying about the whole thing. I worry that I’ll get her hopes up and then we’ll find out that we can’t handle the extra responsibility. I’ll have to learn to rest and leave the worry to God. If she can make it safely through the nights and I can get my sleep, I think that we could handle it and the result would be a very love-filled family home. We’d have some extra help and planned activities for Mom. I’ve already checked and the girls’ art teacher is up for Mom participating in the art classes with them. Heidi’s has a room open up for a resident every couple of months. So, if it doesn’t work out, we could always take her back after a time.
Anyway, stay in there with the prayers. I have a terrible cold and with the lack of sleep last night, I’m feeling discouraged and I suppose writing this little article as much for myself as for you. Bear with me and my ramblings.
So many older people are just cast aside when they aren’t not as viable as they once were, medicated into submission and eventually out of this world. The families of these people are missing out. I’m hoping for something better for Mother and her later years. I firmly believe that older people belong with family unless there is some reason other than selfish laziness that leads to denial of it. As long as we can keep her safe, I think that she’ll be happier. Grandpa Kleinsorge lived with us for 3 months at a time when I was a child. I wish we had a larger family so that this responsibility could be shared. My time as a child spent with Grandparents, Grandma and Grandpa Phillips in their last days, will always be among the most cherished I’ve spent.