I haven’t written for a while. Just entirely too busy with the living to describe it, I guess. I’ve been running over to Denver, 280 miles, to record with Jim Ratts at Raven Recording, the past couple of weeks. First, it was coming too easily. Jim thought what I was doing was fine. But, I felt like something was off. I’ve grown a lot in the past two years, since recording with him before. My standards and self-expectations have changed, too.
When I recorded “Thank God for Small Things” Scott Bennett and I collaborated on the arrangements and we were actually able to record three good tracks on the first pass through, my guitar, my voice and Scott’s guitar. It gave the music a live and spirited feel. THIS time, Scott hasn’t been available while I was recording. So, it’s just been me. Jim has been supportive and positive. But, I have to say that when both he AND Scott were listening, it was almost like they were listening so closely to what I was doing and possibly were even in competition with each other to see who could pick on me first! :o) Actually, that seemed to work out well and very little slipped by. The result was a great CD.
NOW, I have much more difficult and challenging music, music and even languages that Jim isn’t familiar with. It’s a collection of my own original classical compositions plus 6 songs in Spanish. Then there’s the pieces that I’ve written and collected over the past several years that I want to add to the mix, like “O, Fernando” and Mamie Mae’s song about her adoption on the orphan train in “1894”. I have to stay focused until this project is complete! I have so much that I want to share that it’s hard to get my thoughts and fingers organized and rehearsed well enough. And besides THAT, the third movement of “The River Suite” is aching to burst through! There’s no way I can entertain the notion to compose. So, those ideas are haunting me and keeping me from sleeping.
So, I dived into the Spanish and recorded three of the six. They felt good. But, I wasn’t sure of my Spanish. I couldn’t get hold of Miguel de Hoyos, who originally helped me with the pronunciation. So, I found Nora Resz, who grew up in and studied at the universities in Mexico City. She will be teaching my daughter Spanish this year. She is a woman full of energy and purpose. I absolutely fell in love with her as a person. She listened and was very kind. She thought they were nothing to be embarrassed about, but that the pronunciation of the Ds could be better. So, I decided to re-record them. Understand that each time I do MY pass through of recording these songs, it’ most likely costing from $50 to $100. So at THIS point I’ve invested quite a bit into these threes songs. But, I wanted it right. It felt good the second time around.
Then…I found Miguel in Tiajuana and he wanted to be involved, laying down tracks of guitar that I wouldn’t be able to play during the spaces that I had left for instrumentals. So, I sent him the tracks…
Miguel’s comments were “the guitar was good…The voice was good…But, that the “diction need work” ” He knew I could do better. I had done better before…..
My heart sank and I felt sick. I’m not Mexican. I’m just a Kansas Country girl that loves the sound of the Spanish language, the romance, the hidden adventure that I feel when singing in a foreign language. I want to share that emotion. But, I don’t want to sound silly or uneducated. I had no idea what diction he wanted changed. I sent back a message offering to fly him to Colorado to help and asked for some specifics. That was over a week ago. He hasn’t responded to my questions or offer and I’ve had a lot of time, now to think about this. I cancelled the recording sessions last week and decided that I needed to make some decisions and be clear about what I’m striving for. I don’t want to sound Mexican. When a Latin singer sings English, part of the charm is that they sound like someone Latin singing in English. So, I will have Nora help to be sure that I’m not embarrassed and I’ll dive in, once again.
Here’s a little tickler of one of the songs. I’m sure that I’ll record it yet again. But, here it is for now. It’s raw with none of the fancy things that they add in the studio to be sure that it plays well on your speakers. There’s nothing but my first pass through on my guitar with my voice. “Caballo Viejo” is a song that discusses what we can learn about life from an old horse.
Thanks for caring enough to read and listen!