I came home yesterday. I had planned on at least one more night in the condo in Grand Junction…one more night with no one to consider but myself, sleeping when I felt like it, crying where no one would see, having only to focus on the healing of my wounds from the surgery and time to consider life as it has evolved and to pray. But, I missed my family and they asked me to come home, so I did. Once here, I wondered what I was thinking! There are entirely too many sets of stairs in this house and the piles of laundry, dishes and rotting veggies and fruit on the counter were haunting me!
Given what happened with Mom, yesterday, and me having been gone and now in pain, everyone was especially needy, too. The dogs wanted to be on top of me…which of course doesn’t work in my condition. And the girls wanted to sleep in my room since Craig was working all night. I decided not to fight it and remembered how I love to be needed. I welcomed the sound of their breathing in the night, though I had to get up many times to ease the pain and the mindfully suffer over the dilema of what to do for Mom.
But, then the blessings began to flow. Stefi caught a grasshopper, yesterday. His name is Buddy. She carries it everywhere and is amazed how much grass he is eating and how much poop has accumulated in her tupperware-shift little home. She spent several minutes this morning trying to figure out how to get water and grass into the container without letting Buddy jump out. He was very jumpy, yesterday. She got her task completed and Buddy is chomping away on his new supply of grass.
Niki slept in the bed next to me and rarely bumped into my legs in the night. She was kind and loving and touched my face several times in the most caring way. She knows that I’m going through a very hard time, making this decison about Grandma. She really doesn’t know the magnitude of what happened yesterday, however. But, she can see the pain in my eyes.
This morning, after I woke up I laid in bed listening to the quiet and considering what I need to do for Mom, today. Then the door cracked open. It was Stephanie holding a little home-made tray with cereal and hot tea. Her little smile made me cry and that wasn’t what she was going for, I know. But, she understood and told me how much she loved me. She laid the tray in my lap, very carefully, as not to hurt my legs and then waited for all of the rewards that come from doing something wonderfully special for someone you love…”I did something really nice, didn’t I Mommy? This is your favorite tea, isn’t it, Mommy? I haven’t seen you eat this cereal in a long time. I found it in the back of the shelf and knew you’d like it! It’s nice to have a daughter who does nice things for you, isn’t it, Mommy?” And of course I answered with whole-hearted agreement, though through tears of joy and she put her little head against my chest and patted me on the back. I told her how proud I am of her and Niki and how I nearly didn’t have children at all! And THEN God gave me the most wonderful daughters in THE WHOLE WORLD!!!
I recently was given an article link to an interview by Rick Warren. He wrote “The Purpose Driven Life”. Just as his book was selling and making millions of dollars, he learned that his wife was dying of cancer. This is a powerful interview that doesn’t take long to read. But I assure you that you’ll want to read it over and over. I even laminated a copy! Please take the time to read it. There is so much wonderful wisdom found in it. Click here to see it.
One of the blessings I have in this world is your friendship. I love you and thank you for reading…Mary