Hi! I’ve been so busy that I haven’t kept up with my writing. Sorry. I do so appreciate your reading, and it makes me feel less alone in all of this.
It’s Sunday and for some that mean a day of rest……for US , other than church, this morning we don’t have formal plans for the day. But, therapy is at the forefront of our thoughts at every passing moment, really. Every activity is either a chance for triumphant therapeutic learning or frustrating failure. So, we’ve chosen to experience the first choice of working on things at every turn and seeing the results of that patient effort.
Tomorrow night we will be 6 weeks out from Mom’s stroke. She continues to improve. Though it’s not an easy thing to accept……that there are so many things…..seemingly simple things that are usually taken for granted, that Mom SIMPLY…..(or NOT so simply)….has to re-learn………To help you understand…..if YOU, as an older person have ever tried to learn a new language, a REALLY new ANYTHING…….if you’ve tried to do this, even WITHOUT having brain damage….you KNOW how hard it is to learn something completely new. The old dog—new trick thing……the stuck in a rut reality of most minds as they age. Few people aspire to learn new things later in life. Luckily, my mother is a special individual and has continued learning as she has aged. She is putting a lot of patient effort into every activity that she tackles right now, and the results are showing.
Think about our developing mind when we were a child…..We all take for granted the hours, weeks, months and years that our parents invested in the development of our brains. We don’t even have a conscious memory of those struggles and triumphs of our early years. Think of the hours spent encouraging a baby to roll over, to sit up, to take that 1st step, to learn right from wrong…….
I’ve been working on this with Mom for only SIX weeks and it can be exhausting. Sometimes when I reflect on the time she spent on my development and the short time that I’m spending now, I feel small for suffering over it. Why is it that we just EXPECT that our parents will spend hours and hours nurturing our development and yet few people accept the responsibility of that same parent,…….the one who loved and cared for THEM……. when that parent can’t care for themselves?!!………………A baby doesn’t even beGIN to take its first steps for several months! How long does it take until a child can dress themselves, feed themselves, brush their own teeth, make reasonable choices? How long before a child realized that their little world and reality isn’t the only important thing in their life. How long before they become grateful, thoughtful, prayerful?…………….Mom is so grateful and expresses it often. She asks for help from God around every corner. I find written notes to HIM lying around all of the time, and my heart is warmed by the sincerity and simplicity of her requests of our kind and loving God. I’m humbled as she continues to teach me……..even NOW.
I know that it’s different than having a new baby. But, in many ways, this is very much the same. To have the best chance for a fullfilling life, this person needs love, needs stimulation, needs guidance, needs patience……….needs TIME.
With this in mind and realizing that Mom is accessing cells in her brain that haven’t been used before………cells that will learn these new-to-them tasks……It’s amazing that she’s doing so well. Those cells have just been sitting there………dormant, waiting to realize their God-given purpose. You might say that they are the star-quality, very capable, understudy cells that have finally been called to go on stage!…………But, they have to learn their lines and blocking first, before they can own the role and shine. She’s rehearsing at every step.
With these realities in mind, Mom is healing and learning at a remarkable rate. We know what a large area was effected—–destroyed…….We know that 6 weeks ago, she could barely open ONE eye, couldn’t swallow, couldn’t move anything or feel anything on the left side, couldn’t see on the left, couldn’t move her tongue, couldn’t smile…….and the doctors were mentioning feeding tubes and more……..
NOW, she smiles; she sings; she recites poetry; she hugs freely; and expresses her love; she understands what we are all going through and is a little sad about it, but mostly just grateful; with our new “granny cam” she has more privacy and can spend an hour or two at a time all by herself in her apartment; she can read a page or two at a time and is beginning to comprehend the words more completely and remember some of what she’s read; she can feed herself and rarely has to be reminded of her manners. She can walk and talk and probably makes reasonable choices at least 75% of the time. She can see most things and watches for things on the left. She hasn’t run into anything in at least a week. She can play Yahtzee and is beginning to consistently know how to see and add up each dice. She laughs and visits with friends, though sometimes it’s with a bit of a slower reaction time. She sees the need to work on the more difficult tasks, like dressing and bathing herself and knowing and understanding time. She is a remarkable woman and I thank God every day that she is willing to keep working…….and I thank God for giving me the opportunity to know and love her better and longer, because of this……
Thank you for reading and for your continued prayers……….HUG, Mary