Mom has been doing pretty well the past couple of weeks. We’ve had some really good days with her. I have Annette staying with her 4 days a week, and I’ve spent a lot of day time with her. Then she has someone staying the nights. I’ve been hoping and praying that she’ll start doing better and continue to improve…..but,
I’m trying to decide what is best…..again. The sleeping medication that they are giving Mom doesn’t seem to be working anymore. I have spent more than 4 hours on the phone today, trying to deal with this problem. She is absolutely fine during the day, engaging in positive conversation, remembering most things correctly, entertaining the other residents, joking and laughing and talking philosophy…She came to my play last night and had a lovely time. But at night it turns into a nightmare…literally.
Last night, similar to the two nights prior, she slept about 1 1/2 hours out of the 10 hours that I had someone watching over her. She fell out of bed, pulled the curtains down, screamed because she couldn’t take off her clean underwear and became aggressive towards the staff…At 10:00 she demanded that they help her get ready for the next day and for breakfast…This isn’t who she normally is.
This is someone created by insomnia, depression, and effects of her stroke! They, at Heidi’s, are willing to try and work with her medications along with a doctor to prescribe. Heidi’s and Frank, the owner, are wonderful and very caring. But, so far, I have no doctor who will help with attention needed here with daily reports and prescriptions. Dr. Dawson, her psychologist, thinks that she is doing so well that a maybe a hospital isn’t the place for her and may make things worse. But, her defers to Dr. Mozer, the specialist from Denver. Dr. Trautner, her local Psychiatrist, is gone until mid January. Dr. Mozer, her psychiatrist in Denver, thinks that she belongs back in a hospital setting where they can carefully monitor her and make changes to her medications at will…
There are really only two hospitals that I have to choose from in Colorado. There is Aurora North, the hospital that said that I could expect the same care and communication there as she received at Haven Behavioral and wouldn’t take her a couple of weeks ago. They just bluntly said that if Haven Behavioral thought she was ready to be discharged that they had nothing to offer, though Mother was still worried that she might hurt someone and was having horrifying nightmares in the night that had to be calmed by me. When I told them that I didn’t want a repeat of our experiences at Haven Behavioral, they called back and said that the experience we had there, with them not communicating with me until they had decided to discharge, with them loosing Mom’s tri-focal glasses, her shoes with orthotics, and letting her leave with someone else’s shoes and hearing aids in her ears…They said that we could expect the same level of care and communication from them! So, do I want her THERE?
There is a place that I’ve uncovered in Colorado Springs called Peak View Hospital, that has a geriatric psych ward. Of course, Peak View thinks that they, themselves are the best and most wonderful choice. But, when I spoke with Haven Behavioral and Aurora North, they each gave me the same sales pitch to begin with over the phone. Haven Behavioral assured me that if we needed them to change the one hour visitation schedule that they wouldn’t have a problem with it. Then when I needed them to move the Sunday afternoon hour by merely one hour so that Craig to get home before starting his radiology shift, they refused to do it. Everyone is sweet to you until they don’t have to be…
And then, tonight, Annette told me that she thought that the young man staying with Mom, last night, had probably punched her in the chest trying to control her in the night. There was a big bruise on her chest and Annette had seen it after Mom had said that he had hit her in the chest. Frank and I think that she probably hurt herself falling half way out of bed, last night, but we haven’t seen the bruising. Annette is pretty solid in her opinion that Mom couldn’t have bruised herself in THIS place and looking THIS way, doing that. I want to believe that she COULD have done it falling out of bed. UGH…
I’m having a very hard time making this decision. I DO think that the insomnia is the primary problem and know from my research that the insomnia, alone, can cause the psychosis, let alone the stroke and the depression, which can ALSO cause it all on their OWN! So, getting to the bottom of the sleep problem is the answer, for sure. Will they watch her more closely at THIS hospital? They tried to tell me that Mother was sleeping well at Haven Behavioral…..and then in the next breath, they said that she was still screaming in the night! Well, which is it? Is she sleeping or screaming? It probably isn’t both… After my multiple calls wanting specifics, they began her on THIS sleeping pill the night before they sent her HOME! I absolutely know that she wasn’t sleeping well while she was there! There’s no way that she could have been.
So, pray that I can make a good decision tomorrow. Peak View Hospital is expecting us on Wednesday, and we’re doubling Mom’s sleeping medication for the next couple of nights to keep her resting and manageable. That should do the trick.
The down side is that this particular medication makes it impossible for her to function on her own without falling, through the night and on into the next day until after noon. So, she has a tough time making it through the morning. I’ll speak with Dr. Mozer tomorrow, and if he won’t work with us with Mom still here, at Heidi’s, then I have no choice. Given the conversations that I have had, I imagine I’ll go towards Colorado Springs to Peak View Hospital, though Denver is closer and more convenient.
Thank you for caring and reading. I truly believe that our story will ultimately turn out to be a positive and triumphant one! Don’t look faith. It can turn around at any moment and all we have to do is hang in there and believe!
And I DO. I believe that she still has something wonderful to add to the world and to do for God and that this is the reason that we’re still struggling with all of this.
G’night, Mary