Yesterday, Javier and I rehearsed at the rehab center for the masters classes that we plan to have with James Smith, next week. I haven’t had very much time to practice and I’m afraid that it showed. Hopefully, by next Wednesday we’ll be able to play the Carruli’s Duet in D well enough to benefit from James’ wonderful encouragement and instruction. James called me from Geneva a few days ago just to check in and encourage me. I want to play well for him and for Jerry Hahn. They are having a guitar concert, tomorrow evening, at the Performing Arts Center at the Middle School in Delta, Colorado for anyone who loves guitar music and would like to hear some of the best in the world.
- Dena Gives the Photographer the Raspberry as She Begins Her Physical Therapy — 5/30/2009
Mom is very restless, now, I’m afraid. I’m not staying the nights and suffering inside of my heart over it. I struggle to know if it’s the right thing to do. The nurse told me that she got up at least 11 times last night and she never had to get up that often when I was sleeping next to her. Is it better for me to let her get used to me being gone?……or should I be next to her until she stops being fearful. She called us last night and was afraid that she was going to have another stroke and wanted me to come and console her. I did the best that I could over the phone and she accepted that I couldn’t come down. When I arrived this morning, the nurse wanted to talk to me about putting her on some sort of antidepressant! Good Grief! The poor lady is healing from a brain injury……..is it really a smart thing to do to mess with her brain chemistry??!! She’s had so many side effects to so many medications…….I’ve always promised her that she wouldn’t be on any kind of antidepressant. Zoloft was what took a third of her field of vision and left her with numbness down her right arm and right side of her face. Her eyesight came back after 8 years and the sensory deficit on her face and arm have never completely gone away. It’s just not worth it just to make it easier to care for her. She needs her brain to be free from fog right now. She goes through moments of being sure that she’s not in Colorado…….and wanting desperately to get back home……….home to her things…….to food she likes……………..where her friends know where she is……..where she doesn’t have to ask permission to do EVERYTHING……….where we wouldn’t have to go so far to visit. She remembers the blessed and independent life that she had before this happened.
- Mary and Dena Out for a Walk Around the Hospital — 5/30/2009
I take her on strolls in her wheelchair and we read the plaques in the hallways that say “Montrose Memorial Hospital” and by the time we go all the way to the volunteer’s reception desk and she sees the aspen trees outside, she decides that I’m right and that she MUST be in Colorado……….and she just shakes her down-turned head in disbelief……..She doesn’t remember the stroke, which is common, but often she just doesn’t believe that it happened. Once we talk about her arm and leg and the feeling that isn’t there in her mouth…….she has to concede that she MUST have had one.
On a more positive note, however……..Mom enjoyed listening to the music that Javier and I were playing. She can clap, now, and is happy to do so. :o) Yay!@#$%^ Yeah!$*& This morning, while I practiced my piece, she used pastels and drew some pictures of a scene outside the cafateria window. She obviously still sees beauty in SO many things. Now, she often points out the beautiful grain in a piece of wood to Stefi………and the clouds……..and the colors in the sky……….She loves looking at the paintings on the wall in the hallway of the rehab center. Kim and Micah and Mona worked with her, today. Mom is doing better when she eats, rarely choking. She is stronger in all regards on her left side and is taking more steps each day and gaining coordination. But, she has a long way to go. She laughs and enjoys jokes and a good conversation. She’s such social person. Remember to stick your head in and let her know that you’re thinking of her. She loves people and every time that someone comes in, her spirits are visably lifted and she works harder to get out of that place and back home. We love you and thank you for your prayers. ‘night, I’m going to go to sleep! :o)
The entry before this one has her address on it, or drop me a line. Mom’s e-mail address is dena@drmary.net She can read the e-mails, but isn’t very good at responding, yet.